Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Christmas Gallery 1 - Scary Santa

Ooooooooh! Would anyone want this shiver inducing Santa
popping down their chimney this Christmas?
Rather than exuding feelings of joviality and merry frolics this
fearsome apparition radiates evil and malevolence.

Even as we were taking the photographs for this web site, the eyes
of this fearsome Father Christmas seemed to give off an uncanny
red glow. Just like that old black and white 1950's film about those evil children
with the weird glowing eyes. What was it called? Oh yes...
"The Evil Children With The Weird Glowing Eyes".

Christmas Gallery 1 - The Collection

This Christmas collection from the year 2000 is well worth revisiting. Some of these long gone treasures would cause a sensation should they ever be re-discovered and offered to the world on Ebay. Perhaps one day......

Saturday, 26 December 2009

Gallery 1 - 'The Millennium Collection'

No Place Like Home

This gift demonstrates particularly fine brush work.
A warm glow from the window hints at the delights contained within.
Hot tea, buttered scones and a welcoming face would greet
any visitors to this humble abode.

These teapots would make a tasteful addition to any kitchen.

Take a closer look at the classical design features which were prevalent
during the period when this finely crafted piece of work was created.
This intricate table decoration has both a front....

and a back.

In this close up we can see how the intricate patterns in the
curtains create almost wraith-like faces, adding an ominous tone
to an otherwise friendly piece of valuable craft work.

Not only is this fine piece of art aesthetically pleasing, but it
also exhibits functionality. Note how this particular special
edition tea pot has a lid which can be both removed and also
returned to the position from whence it came. Charming!

Let no-one say that the creator of this magnificent piece of work
did not have a sense of humour, see how the addition of a child's lollipop
enhances the naive simplicity of this rare and much sought after piece
of craftsmanship. Surely there can be no better addition
to the household of a discerning collector of cheap tat.

A Warning To All Collectors of Rare and Crap Antiquities.

Note how this incredible piece of hand-carved flower work
will only retain its value if kept in its original packaging. An original
receipt will also increase the value of the item, particularly if it contains
an original Woolworth's crest, or the address of the market just
down the road, you know, the one next to the kebab shop.

Crystal Swan (probably diamond)

Once again, keeping the original packaging drastically increases
the value of these much sought after items.

This precious bird will be of tremendous value to the stressed
school teacher.

For an item so beautiful to behold it is startling to realise that it
also possesses much practical value. Ideal for safety in the home.

Your Children Love You!

Your heart will melt if you receive one of these
delightful gifts from a member of your class. If one of
your children truly loves you, this is how they show it.

Who can fail to be touched by the innocent but loving expression
on the face of this figure? And note how the traditional gift of an
apple for teacher has been incorporated into the design.

The Return of 'Cheesy Gifts for Teachers'

It took the world by storm in the early 2000s.....

...and now it's back with EXACTLY the same old tat that was on it before!!!